Title: Warming Up
Rating: G
Fandom: Castle
Pairing: Castle/Beckett
Summary: As soon as Castle hears she’s unwell, he’s on her doorstep at lunch time, with chicken soup and orange juice and ice cream wearing that purple shirt she likes so much.
Notes: 1863 words. a what if Josh hadn’t interrupted Castle at the end of 3.17 Countdown
“Hell of a day, huh?” Castle says.
“Hell of a day,” Beckett agrees.
“You know, I was thinking… I was thinking maybe…we could get dinner, just you and me? Or a drink?”
“I-” she pauses, debating it internally because Josh is probably on his way but Beckett suddenly really wants to spend time with Castle. Be with Castle. “That sounds great,” she says. “Somewhere quiet though?” The noise of the day still buzzes in her head and she really needs some peace.
“My place then?” he suggests and she swears there is something in his tone, in the way he’s holding himself back, the slight tremor in his hands. She can’t quite place it. “Alexis and my mother are staying in the Hamptons until tomorrow.”
“That, that sounds great,” she says, hoping she doesn’t sound as breathless as she feels all of a sudden. The adrenaline of the day hasn’t really worn off either, so she’s more than a little internally shaky herself. “I just have to make a call, then we can get out of here.”
“Great.” He lightens then and she wonders if she was imagining things but she needs to call Josh, tell him she can’t meet him tonight. He won’t be happy but she finds she doesn’t feel too bad about that for reasons she doesn’t really want to analyse too closely right now.
When they enter the loft, he takes her coat and hangs it up and his hands run down her arms, and she shivers and wants to blame the cold but all her awareness is on Castle, as it usually is when it’s just the two of them and they’re not working a case.
“I’m still cold too,” he tells her, hanging up his own coat. “I think the adrenaline was keeping me warm because now I’m freezing again.”
“Me too.”
It’s only half a lie, because her hands do feel cold and so do her toes. Everywhere else is warm though.
“I’ll put the fire on,” he says, “why don’t you pick out a wine to go with dinner?”
She nods and heads over to his wine rack to find something to go with the Chinese food they picked up on the way. She starts to get out plates and cutlery likes she belongs there, and when she turns to start dishing out the food, she finds him watching her, smiling.
“Hey,” she says, feeling a little warm in her cheeks at his scrutiny.
“Hey.”
She waits for him to say something, elaborate on whatever is on his mind, but he just smiles and joins her and dishing up their dinner.
They eat sitting on the floor in front of his fire. He pushes the coffee table back towards the sofa and brings pillows and blankets down for them to snuggle themselves into.
“Feeling warmer?” she asks.
“A little,” he says. “Feel like I need a few more layers.”
“Bit colder than a normal New York winter for sure,” she says and he smiles.
“I went to Alaska in the once, part of a winter book tour,” he shivers, a little exaggerated and she laughs. “Never again.”
They chat about winter vacations and eat their food in front of the fire, the flames giving him a warm hue she is drawn to like a moth. When they’re done with the food and the wine, she’s reluctant to move, to leave but knows she can’t stay there all night. It’s too dangerous, she almost can’t resist him like this, honest and sweet and sleepy and still a little playful.
Almost, but she manages to get out of the apartment with her head and heart in one piece.
She breaks up with Josh the next day.
She knows why but gives the doctor half excuses about not wanting to hold him back from his calling. That he would resent her eventually, that she would too but in reality she just can’t imagine being with him.
She can’t imagine not being with Castle.
It’s hard to take it in – she’s been fighting it for so long, she had rules about him that she finds she wants to disregard entirely. She had told herself not to fall for him, not to fall into bed with him but now, now her heart is open and she is open and everything she has locked away is leaking out of her. Flooding out.
There’s no case, so she calls in sick.
She can’t remember the last time she called in sick. She rarely calls in sick when she is sick. She had a damn chest infection once and still managed to close two cases, though she had to leave the running after suspects to Espo and Ryan. She feels sick though, all fluttery inside and she needs a day to try and get her head around her life. Her heart.
Of course, she doesn’t get that day because as soon as Castle hears she’s unwell, he’s on her doorstep at lunch time, with chicken soup and orange juice and ice cream wearing that purple shirt she likes so much. If he had called, she would’ve told him she was fine, that she was just going to spend the day sleeping off a cold. He would never believe she was playing hooky but now he’s here. standing in front of her, it’s obvious to him she’s not sick.
“You okay?” he asks. “Esposito said you called in sick?” he says.
“I’m fine,” she smiles and lets him in because she can’t resist and she supposes she doesn’t really need to.
Plus, he’s bought her favourite ice cream. He places everything on her counter and turns to smile at her, before reaching out and pressing the back of his hand to her forehead, then her cheek. She manages not to embarrass herself, but can still feel the flush on her cheeks.
“What are you doing?” she asks softly.
“Checking you for fever because the Kate Beckett I know does not play hooky.”
He drops his hand and she’s disappointed but covers it with half a glare.
“I’m not playing hooky,” she tells him. “I just…” she hesitates, because she only ever hesitates with her feelings. “We had a hell of a few days with the bomb and I broke up with Josh, so I figured I deserved a day, clear my head a bit.”
“You broke up with Josh?” he asks.
She nods.
“How come?”
She feels like she needs to sit down for this, but he’s blocking her path to her sofa and she’s suddenly very aware of how much taller he is without her heels on. He’s deceptively well built. She could give him the same lines as Josh but he deserves better. She doesn’t think too deeply about why he deserves better than Josh.
She doesn’t need too.
“You don’t have to tell me,” he says suddenly and she smiles at that.
“Let’s have some soup and we’ll talk,” she says.
“But you’re not sick,” he says, even as he heads into the kitchen to fetch bowls and put the ice cream and juice away.
“Yes, but I am hungry,” she says with a chuckle and he laughs and serves them both some soup. They take it over to the sofa and sit down together. He sits a little too close, but she doesn’t mind, instead curling up beside him and relaxing in his presence.
She takes a few sips of the soup and smiles. It’s good, really good and she loves that he can cook. And cook well.
“This is great.”
“I only make it when Alexis is sick,” he says, “and you,” he adds. He relaxes into the soft cushions of her sofa and watches her for a moment. “So, what happened?”
She sighs, wishing she could remain in the blissful bubble of his attention for a little longer without talking about Josh.
“It wasn’t what I wanted,” she said. “All those things I told you, in the decom tent, they didn’t really go away because he stayed this time.”
“Makes sense.”
“I still want all those things, I still want something, but what we had, me and Josh, that wasn’t it.”
“How did he take it?”
She huffs out a sad laugh.
“Not well, given that he stayed here, and then rushed to save me from hypothermia,” she says. “He’s probably on his way to Haiti as we speak.”
She moves to pull a blanket over her legs and he watches her movements so carefully; she wonders if he’s always watched her so intently then reminds herself that, yes, of course he has, and then he wrote books about her.
“Still cold?” he asks.
“A little.”
“Me too.”
It’s a lie, she can tell, but then, she lied too.
On a whim, she pulls more blanket over and lifts up the edge to invite him in. She half expects a flirty comment but those have been appearing less often and a more serious Castle emerging. Serious about her, she hopes. He slides over and settles in next to her, arranging the blanket over them both. They sit and eat their soup and she likes the quiet between them, it’s rare, given how much he loves to talk. She watches him and he watches her, so when she finishes her soup, he grabs her bowl and takes both into the kitchen. He digs out the ice cream and a couple of spoons, sitting back down next to her and under the blanket, somehow even closer than he was before.
She really doesn’t mind.
He looks at her with that soft smile she loves so much, the one that he uses when he’s thinks she can’t see him. He’s not hiding it now though and she’s not hiding from him either. She’s been warming up to him slowly for so long, and she’s warming to the idea that they could have something, the two of them.
“Shall we watch a film?” he asks.
She hands him the tv remote and then, feeling either brave or reckless (probably both), curls up into his side and rests her head on his shoulder. He takes it, but doesn’t turn on the tv, she can feel him regarding her for a moment, before he shifts his arm so it’s draped around her. He pulls her closer, so she’s moulded into him and she doesn’t resist. He lifts the remote to the tv, then drops his hand again.
“Do you think,” he starts and she looks up at him. That tone is back, the holding back, and she smiles at him, hoping it’s encouraging.
“What?” she asks softly, when he doesn’t continue.
“Do you think you could have what you want with me?” he asks. He goes to turn away, as if afraid of her answer and she reaches out and cups his cheek, gently forcing him to look at her.
“I think so,” she tells him.
He smiles, and kisses the top of her head, before settling back and turning the tv on. She cuddles into him and waits as he picks a film, thinking this is the warmest she’s felt in years.